25 Mar 2017:
About two years ago I realised that I needed to stop being insecure. When it comes to insecurity, there are a lot of ideas out there like imposter syndrome that I do not personally resonate with. I gave a lot of thought to what it meant to me to feel insecure and came up with a fairly simple pact that sounds a bit dramatic reading it now.
I will never again feel insecure.
I may feel unsure, afraid or confused, but those feelings have a source and I will answer them.
Insecurity in itself is useless.
Insecurity is the unanswered call to improve myself.
It is the certain knowledge that I am not being my best.
I like how this approach has been working out for me. In particular, I’ve come to appreciate how natural it is to gauge myself against my own ideals, something that I used to fight against. Though I can never reach an ideal (by definition?), I feel great satisfaction in knowing that I am making progress in the right direction.
So far, I’ve applied this idea to my satisfaction with my body, my education and my career. With each area, I used roughly the same process: when I realised that I was feeling insecure, I figured out what specifically was bothering me and then took definite steps toward resolving it.
For my body image, it was straight forward dieting and weight lifting. For my education and career, it is a much longer and ongoing process that started with changing jobs, now includes continuous self-study, and will soon include a part-time masters degree.
There is so much satisfaction to be had in feeling consistently busy working on the things I most value, and I don’t think I’ve been so steadily happy at any point in my life.